Making Memories

Another tradition that I love with my daughter is our Trip to NYC at Christmastime. We do this every 5 years, and each time I have been in awe of the girl I have raised, and how spirited living and love show up in our life. I first visited NYC at Christmas with my grandmother, it was a magical trip, and I felt that magic again when I took Kaili there during the Christmas Season when she was in Middle School—it was such a memory builder and magical time for both of us. So much that we decided we would go back, and we did when she was 17, another Mother/Daughter trip and this one was healing as it was my first Christmas Season without my Mom. Now 6 years later (Covid did that to all of us) but we had our Mother/Daughter NYC Christmas weekend, and it was like being there with a Best Friend, because I was. We have so many similar interests, and that makes it easier for us and being together. We have the same sense of humor, and that just makes everything so much fun. Indeed, we were laughing all the way!

We packed a lot in on our weekend trip, but also we both enjoy yummy food, a dining experience so that helped to off set the hustle/bustle and crowds (which we both don’t love). This year seeing the Rockette’s topped our list of favorites, we have seen the show each time, and there is something about it that just brings on the Christmas Spirit.

This is her first year out of college and living in the city, we picked up our girl in Boston, and Charlie brought us to the train station. Listening to her on a work call made this Momma proud, she is crushing it in her sales job, working hard & is dedicated to go above & beyond (while I believe in work/life balance, as a new graduate and a person in her/his twenties, hard work should be part of the game, something part of this generation does not get. She gets it, but also I need to remind her to slow down, not over commit and most importantly, take care of herself while she works hard growing her career. On occasions such as this, I am in the moment, enjoying our time, but somewhere in my mind I also am in awe of where we are, how this new stage in her life is the beginning of so much more. I want to be there every step of the way, but also taking steps back, I’m growing as she is growing, we are both learning together, the beautiful dance of life.

We arrive in NYC and the hustle and bustle is real. I insist we walk to our hotel, which we do, and freshen up, and hit Bryant Park for some shopping and then dinner. The start of our weekend felt magical, spirits were high, and we were happy to be there, and be together. It rained on our Christmas Parade on Saturday, but that did not stop us from seeing sights and shopping—lots of laughs, a few moments of “really mom” or “c’mon Kaili” and more importantly festive spirits abound. Our evening began early with festive libations at Valerie, a decked out place Kaili wanted to have a drink before the show. Much to my surprise they had a selection of AF options, which fancied my experience, and was a nod and wink to somethings I envision in the bar scene of the future. We enjoyed the Rockette’s, and if there is anything that will get you into the spirit of the Christmas season it is that show. Kaili being a dancer makes it even more special, I told her she should be up there, she stated she can’t, she’s not tall enough, my outlier spirit pondered that and believes there is always a way (I believe that with my whole heart and spirit, we CAN do anything we want to, period end)! We had the nicest dinner at a steak house, taking our time, enjoying every course, from apps, to salads to entree’s to dessert—I love dining out, I do not like to do it so much (home body here) but when I do, good food, good company and good cheer (more to come on how I define good cheer these days)! Wink. Wink….

Once again, we found ourselves at Rockefeller Center, the sights and sounds were great, we experienced some crowds, and that was my cue it was time to call it a night (my girl was fully on board). You see, as festive as my spirit is, and as I do feel magic as a grown mature woman, I have anxiety that is dormant, then appears, and in that, I listen to my body (or mind or both) and say, lets get out of here, nothing big or urgent, just living life on my terms.

Sunday morning we were up early, tried to take advantage of the “free breakfast” my husband had mentioned came with our stay at the hotel. We were anxious to get out, so we chose the cafe’ grab and go, have coffee and will travel.

We walked to Central Park, watched some skating, went to the Plaza and ended up having brunch at the Peninsula Hotel, it was wonderful! After a few stops along the way, it was time to get back to the hotel and head to the train station to head home to Boston. On the train I reflected, I thought about how grateful I was for this trip, how grateful I am for this girl, and how grateful I am for our relationship. We are close, we are connected in a way I can’t describe, but feel deeply in my heart, I know she feels it too. We have our moments, trust me, there is a lot of sarcasm, laughter, and eye rolls, but that is just sprinkled in, it is also filled with so much joy, so much love, so much laughter and a little girl, who became a grown woman, who is not only my daughter, she is my best friend. My love for my children is so strong, so strong that my fear and anxiety can ignite, and I need to bring myself back to the moment, to breathe, to remind myself I am okay and we are okay. I have had a lot of love in my life but my love for my children is something I can’t even describe, the feeling is so deep and is just built into my heart, body and soul. It is who I am and it has captured my heart unlike anything else.

Charlie picked us up in Boston at the train station and this time, rather than come home we dropped our girl off at her apartment in Boston. How is it we got here, the lightening speed of time is just something I will never get my head around. We headed home, I saw my puppies, got on jammies and felt the comforts of home. Grateful for another girls trip and also thinking how the trips in the future will change and grow. For now, it’s her and I, this special bond that will always be part of us—and will never end. Love never ends, it is who we are and how we live.

Love for ourselves and each other be it mother/daughter, son, friend, sister, and all the roles we play. It just grows, evolves and is always present, always there to feel.

These are the times, these are the moments that matter, the trips or outings, and the everyday, the conversations, texts or love we express through laughter, through words or through thoughtful expression.

XO