Festive AF!!!!!

This is a tagline I am using this holiday season and it is dual meaning. It is the exuberant claim of being Festive AF, and what that means is joy and celebration this season (ON MY TERMS)! This is my practice and I am encouraging you to do the same, and the details will differ, because you do you, but the concept is universal, do more things that bring you joy, on your terms, unapologetically and with a festive spirit! This is not just this season, but I am using this season as an example of the spirit of Living HIPP all year long. You do You. Do more of what you LOVE and less of what does not bring you joy or feel goods. It’s not about the “doing, it is far more about the “being” but more on that in 2023.

For me, the dual meaning and my true meaning for Festive AF is Festive Alcohol Free! Yup, I am living out loud (and quietly on my downtime) to demonstrate that an AF Lifestyle is not only possible, but it is enjoyable. The truth about alcohol is that there is ZERO health benefit, it actually is BAD for your health (Cancer, Heart Disease, Mental Health, Energy, Brain Damage/Memory Loss) but I don’t need to tell you that, because when you have too much, you feel how shitty and damaging it is to the body (the body does not lie). I have earned the place to talk about this, not because I easily gave it up and lived happily ever after…. No, my story is not that, it is a combination of several things: a love affair, it is managing Anxiety, it is easing the pain of loss, loss of income, loss of loved ones, and disappointment. It is also about celebration, marriage, “connection” and how flowing spirits take the edge off in all occasions. I had a love affair with it, and I left it out of my life several times and gave myself the option to invite it back in. We don’t talk about this in a way that is educational, real, relevant and what most women and men deal with but do not bring attention to (denial is real, and I know that denial very well). This topic is not black and white (although for those with serious problems, it needs to be). The untold truth is that there is a wide spectrum, and in that are grey area drinkers, I have been one of those. I will share more of my story, but for now, I just want to be an example of what an AF Lifestyle looks like—I did not get here over night, I have been curious, careful, and my approach has been my own, removing it for periods of time, as it no longer agrees with me feeling my best. I am at the point I don’t want to drink anymore, I now say “I no longer drink” which took me some time to arrive at. Let's be real…. Hangovers suck, like are awful and for some reason we go back to the poison (and it is exactly that, poison, it is no wonder you feel like shit when you drink). Society reveres it and truth be told, years ago, so did I! I did not want to quit drinking, I did not want it to become a problem for me, so I took breaks, so many as I felt amazing when I did not drink. At middle age (and especially for women) our bodies reject it, that shows up in different ways, but for me, it mean’t sleep interruption and more anxiety, I truly thought it helped with my anxiety and it only made it worst. I will delve in more at another point, but for now, my decision to embrace an AF Lifestyle is only about one thing, it is about feeling better, being the best version of myself and leaving things behind that no longer work for me. This was not overnight, it was a process, on in which I will invite some in to share more about.

Living HIPP for me, is a curated plan that helps me feel good in mind/body/spirit—for me, I am AF and rather than feeling like shit, I am going to yoga, I am taking better care of myself, I am no longer trying to detox to retox, that dance we do to keep it in our lives because “we are not that bad”. This year, I have had situations happen, like serious rejection, financial loss, losing a loved one, several disappointments —in the past I would have drank over these things (nothing crazy, but in that, I would add fuel to the fire of “not good enough”, and numb out and feel defeated. I did not do that this year, I fought back, I used my voice, I let go, I went to yoga, I kept my vision and knowing alive and for the first time, really stood by myself like never before. All the work I do and have been doing was really in motion, and my worth was no longer in the hands of others, it was not trampled upon, it was held close, in my power, and in that I truly grew and evolved.

I don’t like the way we handle this topic and also how far behind we are because of marketing, outdated societal norms, misinformed wellness professionals and outdated content that makes me want to run for the hills.

My friends and family drink, it is part of the scene, and sometimes I participate (without alcohol) or I choose to stay home, or rest or do what my body needs, no longer what I think people need from me (or what I think I want or need for myself, peer pressure is real, and it is ridiculously present in drinking culture).

I refuse to just have water, or to feel like an outcast or outsider, or dear I say party pooper. Listen folks, this girl knows how to party, and I must admit it is so much more fun, more magical and bad ass doing it without poison in my glass (yeah, that is what I call it now, because it offers me nothing, nothing but regret, shame, shitty feelings and false “good vibes”. There is nothing more authentic than being clear headed, present and a full on spirit, and it is that spirit that I am demonstrating this season. My spirit is my super power, and alcohol only dampens it, numbs it, when for years I thought it ignited it and made me and things more fun. Did I have my fun, hell yes, but that was years ago, and honestly, the fun was short lived, and the feeling like shit became the outcome, the truth, the net/net when drinking alcohol. Drinking is still a part of my life, my family and friends drink, I do too, just no alcohol in my glass. I refuse to look at this as being deprived (as I had at one point), it is very simple, without it, I am so much better, I feel better, I live better and this realization and shift is a gift, and also just speaking my truth, I don’t fit in any particular group or set of rules, I made my own, and that is what has worked for me. So, when you see me living HIPP, know that part of my formula is being AF, however, Living HIPP for you might be the brave step in looking at your own relationship, do you need to quit? I don’t know. What I do know is that is normally not how people do it. However, the shame and silence attached to this topic needs to be shattered, we need to shed more light on it as a wellness choice, and realize it cannot be (or start as) being black & white. It is okay to be in the grey. It is where the learning and growing begins.