Making Assumptions Ruins Peace
Making assumptions can ruin our peace. As much as we work on ourselves, we also are human, vulnerable and for many, there are scars that are deep. When things happen, especially if making assumptions, we can let those ugly thoughts bubble up.
I know, because this recently happened to me.
Making Assumptions is Easy to Do
Without going into detail, I will share with you my knee jerk reaction to something that was never anything to do with me (and was truly not a big deal). You see, I fell into the trap of making assumptions. I conjured up what might have happened, and I created a story in my mind. It was an old story and one that did not serve me or the situation. My gut told me to drop it - it really was not a big deal - and move on. But, my fear, my wanting to be right, my vulnerable self won the argument.
There are times in life that we react. We just say, do, and respond in a way that serves no one and is far from the truth. In many situations, I am able to process, see clearly, breathe, separate, use wisdom, and move on with grace. I have had to hold my head high so many times silently, with grace throughout the years—I have leaned on humility, grace, and faith.
Resetting and Making It Right
In my case, I let anger bubble up around something that had nothing to do with me, and my story was made up in my head. It wasn’t a fact. How many times do we do this as women? How many times do we make up a story in our head? When we conjure up assumptions, we let fear prevail over faith.
So what do you do when you have an adult tantrum? What happens when you go into reactive mode based on your emotions, old wounds, and place of vulnerability? You recognize it, you own it, you apologize, you forgive yourself, and you do the next right thing.
How to Avoid Making Assumptions
I do not do this often, but there are times I let old stories replay in my mind. Recently, making assumptions lead me to some turmoil within myself. While the situation was not a big deal, I let my assumptions make it one. It reminded me once again, to "mind my mind". I needed to go back to a vigilant practice of letting go. My Mom used to refer to it as “stinking thinking”. It’s when you are not prepared or in a positive mindset, and something triggers a reaction rather than processing. Yep, it happens to the best of us.
Mind Your Mind
Here are some reminders when you find yourself in the situation of making assumptions based on what you imagine versus what is.
Remember, the past is a canceled check.
It has nothing to do with you.
Let go and let God.
Breathe.
Assume the best.
Think before you act.
Think again. Give it time, space, and less energy.
Stay Mentally Fit
In addition to minding my min, I do some things to stay mentally fit. This was a reminder once again to make sure I am taking action on these things:
Affirmations and mantras.
Learning through stories, journals, and daily inspiration.
Yoga - Om shanti all the way.
Mediation. Take the time to clear the junk out of your head.
Serving others. Take the focus off or yourself.
So, when you are feeling mad, angry, victimized, annoyed, sad, or any feelings that bring up old scars, remember, you are human. We all have our light and dark. Secondly, ask yourself this question: what is the next right thing to do? Breathe in, let it go, and never forget you are worthy, you are accepted, and you are loved.
Making Assumptions Happens - We are Human
We all carry two voices, one on each shoulder. One is cheering us on, and the other is saying things that build fear, that put us on the defense, that tear us down. Those feelings are how making assumptions happens. This is true for everyone, and that is why I am writing about it.
It is okay to acknowledge the voice that is negative. Perhaps you need to tell it to go. Maybe you need to say, “I know you feel vulnerable, but we are going to do this.” Whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up, and likewise, don’t beat anyone else up, either - with your words, thoughts or actions.
At the End of the Day, Give Yourself Grace
Listen to the encouraging voice and try to operate in that space whenever possible. Sometimes we need to be our own best cheerleaders, and our self-talk is everything when it comes to how we experience each day.
Give yourself permission to fall down, make mistakes, and know that these experiences are what build your character. It is not what happens, it is how we respond. When we respond reactively or make a mistake, just own it, apologize and/or fix it. Easy Peasy.
While you lean on your positive voice, be willing to let go of the thoughts that no longer serve you. We are all human, and this is the human experience. Be loving, forgiving, and kind to yourself and others, especially after making assumptions. Because we all do it. XO