Home is Where Your Heart Is

It is so hard leaving home, moving on but it is part of the circle of life.

As my husband and his sister recently sold their parents home which has been called home for over 60 years, I am feeling all the feels, some of the wounds I felt in leaving my childhood home. In the updated version of Living HIPP, I share even more about losing my Dad and how that was a Trauma experience in my life (unexpected, although years of a serious heart condition and his sudden loss at a young age)—I share more and explore that more in the book, but the fact remains, we do somehow go on, and while we need to heal and honor our grief of letting go, we also need to heal and to be gentle with ourselves as we do so.

Moving out of my childhood home was traumatic, but at that point I was so full of grief, that we just did it.

My parents put there house on the market, accepted an offer and 2 weeks before the closing my Dad had a massive heart attack at home, and he died that day. The grief of that loss was and is a big part of who I am, it was so hard, but I did move forward, some how, some way, when I didn’t think it was possible. The fact that we had to move out of our home 2 weeks after was insanity, but my Mom was ZERO drama, she could have extended it, but she stuck to plan. It is so hard to move things that were last placed by those we love, I will never ever forget that deep pain.

The week after his services, I will never forget my Mom and I taking my Dad’s box of cereal (he loved his cereal every morning, it was just his and his daily treat). We empty out the box in the trash, crying, both of us sobbing, because we knew the reality of this, it was the end of something so big in our lives, and the love of our lives. We did it, with all hands on deck (all my siblings) we packed up the house, and made it special for the next family (they were not the enemies, this was our home, and we left it with the best karma and juju and while none of us wanted to see it go, it was a financial need for my parents (and now just my Mom). It’s hard, there is no getting around this, it is just hard stuff, that most of us experience at some point in life. My Dad would say (about selling the home) “it’s just wood & glass, home is where we are” (to try and make us feel better about this home sale). This helped me make moves in our RE journey, and making a home is, has been and will always be one of my things (home is not a just a place, it is an experience and a feeling). However, when we leave a childhood home, especially one that has been in a family for a long time. It is just hard stuff, many know this feeling, we all experience that difficulty of a life stage, it is sad, but also, we do get through it, as our loved ones want us to.

In this situation, I feel my own loss, my own memories of this family, my kids growing up at “The Bumpa’s”, and that second home for all of us to retreat to.

My Dad always said “it is just wood and glass” meaning that home really is where your heart is and where your people are. It is so true and a great reminder to all of us as we navigate change, be it our own homes, our family homes or the homes we raised our family in. I became accustomed to this when we sold our first few homes—I would get the itch to move every 3 to 4 years—I loved the process of buying a new house and creating it into a home. I love all things home, from design to creating a vibe and also having it be the place your shoulders come down, home to me is sacred and should be a reflection of your spirit and the love you have. The hardest move was years ago when we sold our dream home where we stayed the longest, over 8 years—it is what my kids consider their childhood home. This place was so special to us, we loved the location, we loved the renovation we did, and I had this feeling that it was time to move on, as we had intentions of a beach house, either a a second or primary home some day. Looking back, it was all mean’t to happen, and here we are, living in a primary home we moved to 4 years ago, it is the one by the beach—we knew this would happen, we just did not know when and where.

Something really strange has happened in this time of empty nesting and reaching our vision and dream to live in a coastal community by the beach. We had the opportunity to possibly purchase my in laws home, and while there were so many reasons it might make sense, we truly love where we are and did not want to leave. My usual itch to move is not here and that feels weird, it is this knowing and this grounded feeling of being where we are suppose to be, and knowing this place is special. This was a change for us, and we both feel this way, while the kids love it, it is really Charlie and I that feel so at home and grateful and blessed to call this home.

Home is not just a place, home is a feeling. It has always been important to me, almost like a hobby but also true passion, making a house a home. We never know where the future will take us and also at some point might we think it is too big for us, I don’t know……. For now, and for the foreseeable future, we are beyond grateful to call this home, and our investments and decisions over the years in Real Estate have paid off. I always want my home to be a place where my kids walk in the door, and their shoulders go down and they get that feeling of home. Home is where your story begins, and not where it ends. XO