Post Pandemic Reboot

As I write this, we have been in this state of Pandemic for a year, just over a year ago, we were shut down and life as we knew it changed. I am going to first address how many of us (especially Moms but not exclusive to Moms) might be feeling and then we will chart our course to talk about things we can do as we lead ourselves out of this, sound good?

It has been a stressful year for everyone. Beyond the fear or concern we have for others, those lost, our families—there have been several other factors that weigh on us and I am going to call out all of them right here. Know you are not alone, you are not failing at anything, you are not stuck (which of course you might be in a rut right now)—you are human. Let me say it again, you are human, and the human experience is one of both joy and pain, strength and weakness, hope and fear, energy and depletion, and this year, we have had more challenges thrown at us, that have required us to be more resilient than ever. Give yourself a lot of grace, a lot of compassion and and let us all have this for one another.

Let me really delve in to how you might be feeling, and what is weighing on you. You are tired, you are exhausted and perhaps feeling the effects of a year that has been hard. My guess is you are physically depleted, maybe you ate too much, maybe you drank too much—maybe you did both. Maybe you have felt the mundane effect of one day after the other, just getting through the day, some days better than others. Maybe you tried working out, you had some good weeks and some not so good weeks—perhaps sitting watching Netflix just feels better at the moment.

If you are a Mom, you have had to be teacher, mother, coach, nurse, housekeeper, cook and for some, you had to do the majority of it yourself along side your work. We are not mean’t to do it all, let me say it again, we are not mean’t to do it all! The pressure is real, the anxiety is real and for some the depression and/or lack of motivation (because of low energy or exhaustion) is real. I hear you. I see you. I am holding space for you. I am you.

You are not alone.

Not only are you feeling this way to some degree (perhaps on some days or weeks), but also, you are comparing yourself to others—you know, your friend that just ran 10 miles that morning, or the other friend that is kicking ass in business and life (or so it appears that way by her Instagram pics). You are doing what we know we are not suppose to do, you are comparing yourself to others, and worst, you are comparing someone’s on line (social media) life to your life in your head. Her highlight reel compared to your behind the scenes reel, are in fact not comparable. Let me use the analogy of the Christmas Card…. You know the adorable Christmas cards you send and receive each year—I know every year when my kids were little, I loved the card, but the actually scene behind getting that perfect picture was far from perfect. While trying to make my family look like they were ready for the J Crew Catalogue, they were cranky, and not cooperating but some how each year, we got that perfect shot (behind the scenes at least one kid was acting up, my husband and I were most likely grumpy with each other and the stress and untold story is what you don’t see. Isn’t that an example of life, especially now that we are on line so much, you are taking someones curated life and comparing it to the mess in your home, heart or head. So, let us all be reminded that we are not going to compare ourselves to anyone else, we are all blessed in different ways, and stressed in different ways, lets lighten our heart to accept that and let go of the burden (expectations) we put on ourselves.

I am writing this from a place of feeling weighted down from the past year. I am writing this from a place of having experienced both anxiety and depression this past year. I am writing this mostly because I miss how life was, and I want to feel that energy again, that place of feeling good, productive, energy & vitality. I am reminded it does not happen over night (just like feeling this way did not happen over night)—patience and putting one foot in front of the other is the only way through.

For me, it always comes down to self care. There are seasons I am really good at it, and there are times that I don’t do the things that help me thrive, feel good and be nourished in mind/body/soul. We must put our oxygen mask on first, and this year, the tank is running low, and we need to put that mask on first, and be able to breath life into all other areas of our life. Is your tank running low?

I have had many conversations over the past few weeks with women that are feeling this way. I am feeling this way, and that is why I am writing (speaking), and acknowledging the time we are in. Also, I am going to share with you some things that I have done before, and I am implementing again, to get out of this space. The approach is ‘one day at a time’, it is progress over perfection and it is simple things you can pick and choose what will work for you. One size does not fit all. Some days we crush it, and other days, we just need to be okay with not being okay (remember that, most women don’t know how to sit with our feelings, we want to get busy, push/push/push and while it feels productive, for some, it can be counter productive to the steps of healing, the steps of creating more wholeness, authenticity and being okay with all parts of you! As women, we need to be more vulnerable for each other and mostly for ourselves—this is true authenticity.

1. Morning Routine:

The morning routine is so important, if you don’t have time, then wake up 30 minutes earlier to make it happen.

Pray, meditate and/or reflect (just sit in silence, even if u drink your coffee or tea in doing this, just be).

Gratitude: write 3 to 5 things you are grateful for, it truly helps shift your attitude into gratitude.

Journal: Spend 5 minutes writing what is on your mind, just write the good, bad and the ugly (get it off your chest).

Read: Read spiritual, uplifting or positive words, just a few pages each day can do wonders. Words matter.

Affirmations: maybe u do them now or implement them once you get your morning routine established, create them yourself based on your needs, desires and vision: I am strong, I am confident, I am joyful.

2. Exercise:

We all feel better after exercise, this past year I have felt lazy, I have not wanted to exercise, and I don’t feel motivated (I have had seasonal starts and stops throughout the year). What I do know thou is that exercise always makes me feel good and as I have come to realize, it is necessary for me (that is why I always rely on walking outdoors as a baseline as that helps shift my energy). Choose the exercise that you like, you don’t have to go to the gym, just get your body moving. The endorphins are real, we all need them, and what if we just decide to commit each day to movement? Build on that momentum each day, think of a time when you were more active and use that as your inspiration to get back to that space.

3. Yoga/Mindfulness:

Yoga is my thing, it has been so transformational for me personally, so I always have to share it. Remember, yoga does not just happen on a mat (while I highly encourage taking classes or doing it at home on your own)—more importantly, living yoga off the mat is so good for you. It is living mindfully. It is learning to balance being strong and persistent with letting go and being still. Yoga teaches so many gifts that our world needs (and we all need): compassion, gratitude, kindness, empathy, mindfulness, honesty, acceptance, growth, to name a few.

4. Clean Eating & Drinking:

How is it that we can go from eating so well, to going off course and for some of us, comfort ourselves with food?

I am not talking about wheat grass and raw food (nothing extreme here), I am talking about using food as fuel for our body and getting our taste buds back in the direction of nutrient dense food. We get so opinionated on this topic and we also can feel overwhelmed by all of the options out there (and what ever you do, don’t do a diet)! My opinion is that you do what works for you. Programs help me until I can create my own patterns, so I like to follow programs until I am ready to adopt more of a lifestyle. The bottom line is this…. Do what works for you! We don’t like to talk about weight loss, but lets be real, most of us do have some weight to lose from this past year (be it physical weight or emotional weight and it is okay to look at healthier options and cutting back and out a few things.

So what is clean drinking? Notice how we always talk about everything health: food, exercise, sleep, water, etc… We don’t talk about drinking (I’m talking alcohol mainly), because it is against social norms to do so. The truth is, drinking has increased significantly for women, and it is the one thing that we just don’t talk about in social circles). What we don’t talk about is that alcohol completely impacts how you feel, your health, your energy more than you know (or care to admit). It is okay to take a break from it to feel better and/or evaluate your relationship with it. Does it mean you have to quit forever, no (unless you are a person in recovery, this does not apply to you). Many women suffer in silence, because you don’t want it to be a problem, but actually it is to some degree and perhaps you have to cut back or cut it out for a period of time. Give yourself the gift of looking at your eating and drinking and ask yourself if it is making you feel better or worst, and if the answer is the latter, make those changes to give yourself the opportunity to explore and discover better choices. Progress over perfection is the name of the game when it comes to this.

5. Sleep:

Another area most of us need to improve, and when our sleep improves, so does our physical and mental state. I am such a work in progress in this area too. I stay up late too often, and bring my electronics to bed—I just need to put some boundaries in place, to get better at this, and when I have had success, this is what I have done. I don’t eat past 7pm, as that can sometimes keep me up (and man, have I had those snacks or treats at night many times). I try and stop coffee by 1 or 2pm (does not always happen, but if I put boundaries in place and focus it helps). I try and not bring electronics to bed, but I read on line and even in my FB groups at night, so this one is hard for me). Reading at night in bed (with a book) is helpful, that helps me feel sleepy. Getting in bed at a certain time is helpful, I feel like I have not had that routine for so long, as I write this, I can feel that need to get back to a bed time). Other sleep options I have used before are lavender essential oil, night time tea early evening, melatonin, and sleep meditations as well.

These are just a few areas to begin to look at and make improvements in. Perhaps take a few to begin working on and add things as you go. I tend to thrive on routine, and I will be honest, I also like to break routines I am in as I get either bored, overwhelmed or distracted—I think that is human nature for some of us. The vision and goal is to feel better, and I hope by the time you finish reading this, you feel inspired to make small changes. I am working on doing the same, remember, we are in this together! XO