The Empy Nest
It has been just over a month since we have been Empty Nester’s and truth be told it is still strange and I am not quite sure what to think. So, while I don’t have words of wisdom here, I can share the emotions, thoughts and what I see transpiring in our lives. Many have asked and continue to ask how it is going, overall, it is going well, however, we are in a phase of discovery, and that is both exciting and strange, all in one.
The best part by far is that I am finally putting myself first again! Oh, why oh why do I do that to myself!!!! Getting all 3 kids back to school, the inside emotions of facing this next stage and my sentimental heart of my babies leaving the nest, it all got to me. Throw in the Pandemic and the past year of trying to “get back to normal”, my attention span, motivation, mood and all of those things that either work for me or against me were triggered and fried. The great news is that I am back on track, I am following my lessons and path of Living HIPP, and that by far has been the greatest gift so far. I am able to prioritize myself again, and have committed this past month to my Yoga practice, more walking outside, eating better and drinking more water. Feeling better, stronger and refocused again, I have work to do, and my priority is that work, per usual I want the results, and I need to be patient and just show up each day, and that is exactly what I am doing.
Life is more simple. Our schedules have opened up even more, and that is an incredible gift. We spent decades with full calendars, dual careers/businesses, our weekends were spent all over New England at Hockey games or Dance Competitions and now, it is strange to have more time. Although, we have had full weekends this past month with Parents weekend, and other family commitments—it is knowing that we can plan more for ourselves and not have everything evolve around the family. We are both loving this feeling, and are beginning to realize, wow, we can do what we want to do, when we want to do it. I think the pups are holding us back a little bit, and while that is another consideration, they are bringing us so much joy these days, we love to love and they are there for us to share that. They are getting more walks from me, and at night, we all snuggle and yes, we talk about “the girls”, our kids and also our lives. Oh how we love our fur babies!
New Discoveries…. We have joked that we are going to do Pottery Classes, and all sort of things and we laugh each time we say it to each other. As a couple, we are looking to try new things, perhaps do more field trips and replace our date night (of dinner out) to other sort of outings (that of course will still include a great meal out). Travel is on this list, and at this point is a Vision & Dream, we are going to chart out places we want to see and things we want to do. We find that we want to talk about family vacations and things we can do with the kids (the next few years are still partly ours for family planning). I just keep asking to go for a hike, and hopefully this weekend, we will do just that! In our 40’s, we had a some great trips as a couple and were fortunate to get away to Paris, London, Barcelona, Madrid and most recently Dublin. Italy is top on the list, as is Greece and some other countries we would love to see. We would like to do more travel in the country, and top on my list is Big Sky MT, obviously the list is long, so hopefully each year will include a few trips as a couple and as a family. Another vision is to continue to explore the South West Coast of Florida with hopeful plans to live there (or stay there) a few months out of the year. We love all four seasons in New England, my most dreaded months around here are March and April, I would love to be in a warm climate in those months for sure.
Grocery Shopping and cooking is just so strange. My cart at the grocery store is just empty, it is so strange not to fill it with everything. The first few trips was a challenge, and I was like a fish out of water…. I love it now. Just simple, focused shopping and more fresh foods (I no longer have to have the pantry filled with snacks and things that I really don’t want in the house). We say we are going to do meal planning: I cook one night, he does another night, date night, take out night, and perhaps catered night. We are winging it now, and perhaps will get into a rhythm and eat out more (which we have been cooking at home for the most part so far). The simplicity is refreshing….
The first month was not exactly an empty nest. Two of the three kids got Covid at school, one stayed there and our daughter came home and stayed in the basement. We laughed at the irony of this new chapter, and how truly at the core of our values and our lives, we will drop everything and do anything (well almost) for our kids, it is just how we roll.
The Guyer 5 group text is fired up and that is truly how we stay connected as a family these days. Most of the communication is humor, but also Charlie and I use it as a platform of communication to update the kids on anything important. As I reflect on where we are as a family, I just could not be more grateful for G5, all the years of family centered living and the teamwork we put in to raising the kids, being present (as possible, it was never perfection) and the beautiful human beings we raised. We love who they are as young adults, and we love spending time with each one of them, and our family time of Guyer 5. As a Mom, I find myself saying at each phase of the kids ages saying how much I love this phase and these ages. While having 3 in college at the same time is a challenge (financially), it is so much fun to see them thrive. We are blessed.
We started our marriage focused on family life—I got pregnant just a few months after getting married, and Kaili came home from the hospital on our first wedding anniversary. As a couple, we did not have years of doing things just for us, so now, we are in a place where we are able to do that. While we always made sure we had date night, or weekend get aways, and even great trips to Hawaii or Europe, we truly are able to explore new things all while being the anchor to our kids, and welcome them home and back to the nest.