Motherhood & Fear

(picture is my mom holding my baby girl in the hospital: confident, wise, and loving) 

You will know what to do….

Another Defining Mom Moment.

Motherhood:
I gave birth to my first baby, Kaili. The day we were to be released from the hospital, the doctor discovered a heart murmur (VSD). They did not know how serious it was and discharged me but told me to watch for any signs or symptoms.

At home, my in-laws were there preparing dinner and doting over this new baby. I ran upstairs to call my mom. I was so afraid, so scared that I could not take care of her, or if something happened with the heart murmur, I wouldn't know what to do--so of course I cried to my mom, saying, "But I'm afraid of her and that I won't be able to take care of her."

Mom listened. Mom let me cry.

Mom said it's okay.

Once I was done, Mom's soft voice strengthened and she said "Pamela, you WILL KNOW EXACTLY what to do,.  You are her mother and you WILL KNOW.  She needs you, and I know you, you will be fine and you CAN DO THIS."

Once again, my coach had to help me release all fear and find my confidence and faith.

She reminded me I was not alone, that God wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle and to get downstairs and take the best care of that baby that she knew I could.

Jolted with confidence and calm, I went downstairs and took on the challenge.

Fortunately, her VSD healed itself and those early years of motherhood, while a challenge, are such a fond memory and some of the best memories I have.