Leaving the Nest!

This one is for all the parents that are sending their kids off to college, especially this year, a time of uncertainty, anxiety, and the “new normal” of Campus & COVID living.    I know it is just not those of us that are doing this now, it is those that have done it (you did it, perhaps not a Pandemic, but certainly an important time in your life), I honor you, and those that know someday they will (you are home with younger kids, and the thought of your kids going off to college just seems like a lifetime away), just take it all in, as someday, before you know it, yours too will be leaving the Nest.  

Pre COVID, leaving the Nest was such a mix of emotions, so very excited for them, a little sad (or for some a lot sad and tears) and this knowing in your core and fiber that life is changing, they are preparing and it truly is the beginning of a next chapter, they are no longer under your thumb, under your roof, and part of your daily life anymore, sigh….

I can remember people saying how they get used to them not being there, and things function well (even thou they miss them) and when they come home for breaks, you are then ready to see them go.  I did not understand that until living it, and yes, I had tears, I missed them, I had this deep feeling inside knowing, wow, this is it, we might have them home during breaks, summer and even after graduating or maybe not, but not for long, they really are getting ready to fly!  

We talk so much about how to prepare for everything and everyday life: food, your home, fashion, makeup, exercise, and on and on….   We don’t talk about this so much, the big deal of and how to prepare for your kids leaving for college and leaving the nest.  This is a big deal, and this is emotional, and this is such a happy time, and it is sad, and we question ourselves, (this interesting balance of confidence and self-doubt) did we do enough?  Did we spend enough time with them, did we prepare them?  Will they like it?  Will they find their tribe?  Will they be safe?   And this year, we stop at that question and hope and pray for the best.   Extra anxiety for all of us, as it is not the traditional college experience, and we all just need to do our best and remain positive, flexible, and collaborative.  

I am trying to celebrate this year, this send-off and act like it is normal because it is sort of normal, it is sort of the new normal, and sending them and knowing they may bounce back here sooner than later feels strange, and not knowing just makes me feel a little anxious, and out of control.    I look back to the Spring, when they came home for Spring Break and never went back, they were sad (mad) to miss out on Spring at Campus and the fun and traditions that they had looked forward to.  While they were upset, I reflect on that time as so precious, and someday, they will remember how upset they were (rightfully so), but also will look at it as a beautiful time in their life, spent with their family, in a way we will never have again (finding the gifts in the times of challenge).   

No one prepares you for this, raising these incredible humans, holding their hand, their heart, taking care of every precious and mundane detail of their life, and then all of a sudden…. letting go!   I feel like saying, “that’s it”, but I know, it is a natural progression, and this time of college is another precious time where they are really preparing to fly.  Building independence, building confidence, following their hearts, being challenged, embracing the fun and youthful time they are in, and expanding their world, their friendships, their view, and their experiences.  

So we don’t know how long school will last this semester on Campus.  I really hope they are not home, taking classes on Zoom and spending all of this money on tuition for such a small experience taking them away from their college experience.   This very well may be the case, and I have decided I just need to accept it all as it comes, and they will need to as well.   My advice for them is to enjoy each moment, each day, as we embark on the unknown—my advice for myself and for those of you in this stage of life is to be positive (even thou I find myself going negative), be open-minded (are you a complainer, blamer or builder as an example for your kids), and know that we have this, no matter what comes our way.  

Sending them off, especially for the first time is hard, it is exciting, and in my experience, it is a mix of emotions.  This year, I am sure the experience includes more worry and/or anxiety, not only for the parents but for the students as well.  We just all need to embrace it, take it one day at a time, and enjoy it in the present moment.  

So if your a Momma Bird, sending yours off, know that you did a great job, know that they will fly (in fact, they will soar).  You did your job, you prepared them for a time such as this, and while you send them off, you will always be their Nest, their Momma Bird, and the wind beneath their wings!

XO