When Things Don't Work Out...
I’m So Glad that Did not Work Out!
I am currently in a season that I have to believe this, that I have to have faith that all is happening as it should. I am blessed and life is good, but we all will experience adversity in life or business or both, and I am leaning into my knowing and also remembering how true this is. There have been turning points in my life, where I thought “why is this happening to me” or I thought that things did not work out as I thought they should. In almost every situation, what I learned was that everything worked out exactly as it was suppose to, and each adversity became an opportunity, a lesson, and ultimately, a gift.
Going through the timeline of my life, here are the a few things that did not work out for me or go as expected:
You are not College material!
Advised not to go to college by my HS Guidance Councilor.
I will begin with my teen years, and that time I heard the words “You should consider something administrative in the workforce, not college”. These are the words from my HS Guidance Councilor—I wanted her to tell me she saw I was smart but just did not apply myself, I expected her to see the light inside of me. Much to my dismay, I took her advice, and begrudgingly started a job at AAA—this experience led me to follow my heart and decide that this was not the place for me. I tried to like it, but I did not, I knew there was more for me, and thankfully my friend’s Dad believed in me too, and helped me interview and apply to college.
I learned many things from this, mainly as an adult, to realize that what people say, judge or label you as, while they might have some credentials, your knowing, your voice, your truth is stronger. This girl (you know, the one who’s college councilor told her she was not college material), she went on to graduate Sigma Cum Laude w/a 3.8 GPA and went on to earn her Master’s Degree.
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride!
That Relationship that did not work out.
In my early 20’s, I was working hard at both my career and a relationship which was important to me. I took pride in being loyal, being committed and my dream was to get married and have a family some day. I was in a long term relationship with a great guy, and in my mind he was the one, but my gut said differently as things would happen, and I had to see the writing on the wall. We got engaged and that was the big step and the beginning of everything. However, there were issues of trust, things that happened, and while my head and heart wanted this to work out, and tried so hard, my gut in the end, held the truth that this was not for me. It was hard and scary to walk away, it took me a few times, and it just mean’t that we were not meant to be together. I will never forget the hurt, sadness and feeling broken when things fell apart, would I ever meet anyone, I was too picky and I don’t even like to date.
While this was a difficult time in my life, and at the same time I lost my Dad, what I did not know is that something better was coming along. I had no idea that there was another man for me, and this man would come along in the next year, and relationship drama would not be a thing, just two people falling in love, desiring the same things and fully committed to each other and our future. That relationship thank God did not work out, and this led to the story of my life and my family, meeting my husband, and we would have 3 babies, when I thought I was losing, I had no idea I would later win the lottery in this area. I had no idea my life was mean’t to go a different direction and when Charlie and I met, my story took quite a turn: first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Kaili in the baby carriage! My guyer babies and our Guyer 5 Crew is MY EVERYTHING!
The Money Pit House Offer
As an engaged couple, we were excited about purchasing our first house—I worked two jobs to save a down payment for a home, this really set us up well to begin our life as homeowners and live our dreams. We were torn on where to live, I was from the South Shore (of Boston), so my pick for the town to live in was Cohasset, the gorgeous coastal town we celebrated holidays at my Uncle’s house. My husband is from the North Shore (North of Boston), and in this area, you are loyal to only one—he could only see his life on the North Shore, but was willing to move south for me.
We made an offer on this big money pit, a house nearby the Ocean that was a money pit, it needed work but it was a great opportunity for the right buyer. At the time, I felt like we could pull it off, and renovate over time. We made the offer and thought we had it—and the next day we found out it fell through (another offer was accepted). This was upsetting, a gut punch, it was a tough one to get over, we knew the location was amazing, and that one hurt. Looking back, it was mean’t to be. We were not mean’t to live on the SS, we ended up buying a new home on the North Shore, because my mother in law would be able to help care for our kids when we had them (that was a huge incentive to move North). Now, almost 25 years later, I can say we have created an amazing life on the North Shore, and two decades of that was spent in our community of Hamilton/Wenham, where we raised the kids. I have fallen in love with this area, and most importantly it has been the people (all the friends over the years, we have been so blessed). I would not change any of this for the world. So while that house offer felt like a huge loss, it was a gift, because we landed exactly where we were mean’t to be.
The Basket Business or RE
I was looking for a way to make an income from home with flexibility, while the vision was to be a Training Consultant working part time, the thought of that and 3 babies under toe was too overwhelming, I did not have the bandwidth. I love giving gifts, so I thought and looked into curating gift baskets (and simultaneously was interested in Real Estate).
The basket business never got off the ground, but it did open my mind to a business from home, and so I considered Direct Sales. This was so out of my comfort zone, and truth be told, I was overqualified to be the Avon lady, I just got my Master’s and I worked so hard professionally to advance my career, doing business in a living room or kitchen table was not appealing to me. Neither was asking for friends and family to buy product and also the reputation of some pushy people in that field, I did not want to be her, the lady you avoid in the store. What I did want was this:
Flexible hours, to work from home, work around my family, positive people and to make a professional income.
It was my desire that got me to look at this industry, and it was plugging into the system and getting over myself and my obstacles to learn how to grow a business, learn how to build and develop a team. The rest is history as this one decision (looking at a different business at home and stumbling into Direct Sales) changed our family financially and changed me personally. For 2 decades I have been able to work from home and build my business around my family and teach others to do the same. I am an advocate for this industry and in choosing the right company.
Selling the Dream House
That was a tough one, but looking back it was the right decision and it allowed us to diversify and eventually build our home near the beach. We did not have to sell, and were not sure we wanted to, all I know is our tax bill was high, and I knew we had more projects to do and had this feeling we should consider this. While it was hard to move out of the home where I raised my kids and loved so much, I felt grateful to have another place to call home. This one decision led to a decision we did not anticipate, it enabled Charlie to start his own business (which was by default) and had we not made this move he would have not created Guyer Group, which has been instrumental to our family.
This goes right up there with, sometimes you have to give up something really good to make space for something really great.
The list of things not working out goes on, but for now, you get the point. This is where we grow spiritually, this is where the magic happens, this is where we trust the process and know that everything is happening for us. I had to remind myself of this, and that everything is as it should be. So when things don’t work out the way you had hoped, remember this, rejection is God’s protection. Things are working out as they are suppose to and trust that you are guided and that you align with what is mean’t for you and not what is not mean’t for you.